Flourishing Practice

There is a rhythm to every coaching session I have.

  • Before the session, I will send you four key questions to help you reflect on what is currently getting your attention.

  • We will then meet online or in person for between 90-120 minutes during which I will ask lots of questions, listen deeply and you will leave with some tangible and practical next steps.

  • We will also be in touch between the end of this session and the time I need to send any preparatory work.

For those clients undertaking ‘Flourishing Practice’ the initial four questions are critically important:

  1. What is currently going well in my life? 

  2. What is currently going badly or where do I feel most emotionally triggered? (Perhaps more than the situation warrants?)   

  3. Anything else that’s particularly getting my attention? 

  4. What do I think I most need to lean into next? 

These four questions are designed to identify what I call ‘kairos’ moments.

Kairos means time but in contrast to ‘Chronos’ which is quantitative, ‘Kairos’ is different and essential in nature.

With its roots in Ancient Greece, two common examples are archery and weaving. Think of the potential energy and tension of a tightly drawn bow with the deadly arrow ready to be launched at a moving target. ‘Kairos’ here means the perfect moment to take action and fire in the right direction if one is to hit the target.

In reference to weaving, ‘Kairos’ refers to the moment in which the shuttle needs to passed through the threads of a loom.

In his Kaironomia (1983), E.C. White defines kairos as the "long, tunnel-like aperture through which the archer's arrow has to pass", and as the moment "when the weaver must draw the yarn through a gap that momentarily opens in the warp of the cloth being woven". Both are examples of the precise timing of a decision/action to achieve the best outcome.

In the literature of the classical ancient world, writers and orators used kairos to specify moments of opportune action, often through metaphors involving archery and one's ability to aim and shoot at the exact right time on-target.

In rhetoric, kairos is "a passing instant when an opening appears which must be driven through with force if success is to be achieved." Kairos, then, means that one must find the best situation, taking timing into consideration, to act.

In life, if we are to flourish, we need to lean into these ‘Kairos’ moments in our day to day lives but first we need to be able to identify these. And that is the purpose of the four questions listed above; to enable us to identify what is getting our attention and what we need to focus on.